he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
