I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
