Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
