if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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