do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
