im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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