Do you still have your period?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
