Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize