Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
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