Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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