just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
