I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
There r osticjed everywhere
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
