I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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