I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
