Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
