Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
it was like his penis was on wheels.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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