every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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