i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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