i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You need Xanax blowdarts
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
