Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
it was like eating out sand paper
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
