So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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