The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
