There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
