Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Mom said you looked used
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
