You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
