Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
