Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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