Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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