He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
