Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
