It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
