They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Is it penis luge time yet?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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