Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
