i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
