Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I am full of burrito and curiosity
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
