I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
