I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
