I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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