ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
