wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
