There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
