i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
