At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize