opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize