Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
