those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
