Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
i out mim tonsoeep
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
