So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
