that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He had one of those small greek statue penises
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
