He uses pillows to masturbate.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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