Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize