just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My balls are so social today.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
