drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
