Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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