i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
