If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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