Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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