and i looked up. we had an audience...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
