im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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